Help! My Husband is Secretly Paying His Ex-Wife’s Loan

Hey everyone,

I really need some advice and support right now. I recently found out that my husband, Billy, has been secretly paying off a loan for his ex-wife, Delilah. I stumbled upon some bank statements and noticed regular payments going to her account. When I confronted him, he admitted it but said he was just trying to help her out because she’s in a tough spot.

I get that people have past relationships and sometimes need to help each other out, but this feels like a huge betrayal. We’ve been married for three years, and he never mentioned this to me. What’s worse is that Delilah’s financial needs seem to be growing every year, and I’m worried this will become a never-ending drain on our finances.

I’m feeling so many things right now—anger, confusion, betrayal. I don’t know if I can trust Billy anymore. How do I even begin to deal with this? Should I demand that he stops paying her loan immediately? Or is there a way to set boundaries that can work for all of us?

I talked to my friend Ella about it, and she thinks I should give Billy an ultimatum: either he stops paying Delilah or we’re done. But my other friend Camila says I should try to understand his perspective and maybe even talk to Delilah directly to see if we can come up with a solution together.

I’m so torn. What would you do if you were in my shoes? Any advice or similar experiences would be super helpful right now.

Thanks,

James