“Why Doesn’t Grandma Visit Anymore? A Mother’s Struggle with Her Mother-in-Law’s Absence”

I never imagined I’d be writing this, but here I am, seeking advice from strangers on the internet because I don’t know where else to turn. My name is Sarah, and I live in a small town in Ohio with my husband, Mark, and our two daughters, Emma and Lily. We moved here three years ago to be closer to Mark’s family, especially his mother, who was thrilled at the prospect of being an active grandmother. Or so we thought.

For the first year, everything was perfect. My mother-in-law, Carol, would visit us almost every weekend. She’d bring little gifts for the girls, help out around the house, and even babysit so Mark and I could have some much-needed date nights. Emma and Lily adored their grandma, and I was grateful for the support.

But then, about six months ago, everything changed. Carol stopped coming over. At first, I thought she might be busy or dealing with something personal. I tried to give her space, but as weeks turned into months, I couldn’t ignore the growing distance. She didn’t call, didn’t text, didn’t even send a card for Emma’s birthday. It was as if she had vanished from our lives.

I tried reaching out multiple times. I called her, left voicemails, sent texts and emails, but received no response. Mark also tried talking to her, but she always had some vague excuse—she was tired, she had errands to run, she wasn’t feeling well. It became clear that something was wrong, but she wouldn’t tell us what.

The hardest part has been explaining her absence to Emma and Lily. They ask about their grandma almost every day. “Why doesn’t Grandma visit anymore?” Emma asked me one night as I tucked her into bed. I didn’t know what to say. How do you explain to a five-year-old that someone they love has chosen not to be a part of their life?

Mark is as baffled as I am. He insists that his mother has always been loving and involved, and he can’t understand why she’s pulling away now. We’ve considered every possible reason—maybe she’s upset with us for some unknown reason, maybe she’s dealing with depression or another health issue—but without any communication from her, we’re left in the dark.

I’ve tried to fill the void as best as I can. We do more family activities together, I arrange playdates with other kids, and we visit my parents more often. But nothing can replace the bond they had with their grandma. It’s heartbreaking to see the disappointment in their eyes every time they ask about her.

I don’t need Carol’s presence for myself; I’ve learned to manage without her help. But it hurts deeply to see my children ignored by someone who once claimed to love them so much. It’s as if they’ve been erased from her life, and I can’t understand why.

I’ve considered confronting her directly, but I’m afraid it will only make things worse. What if she gets defensive or angry? What if it drives an even bigger wedge between us? I’m at a loss for what to do.

So here I am, pouring my heart out to strangers on the internet, hoping someone might have some advice or insight. Has anyone else been through something similar? How did you handle it? How do you explain such a painful situation to young children?

I don’t know if we’ll ever get answers from Carol or if she’ll ever be a part of our lives again. But for now, all I can do is try to be the best mother I can be and hope that one day, she’ll realize what she’s missing out on.