“That’s Women’s Work, You Do It”: My Seven-Year-Old Son Refused to Clean Up His Toys. My Patience and Desire to Be the Perfect Wife Vanished

I grew up in a household where the women were nothing short of superhuman. My grandmother was the epitome of a perfect homemaker, and she passed down her skills and expectations to my mother. My sister followed suit, and now, here I am, struggling to keep up with the legacy of perfection.

My grandmother always said that a wife should be able to do everything. The house should be spotless, meals should be prepared on time, the husband’s shirts should be ironed, and the children’s homework should be done. And let’s not forget, a woman should also contribute to the household budget. This was the standard I grew up with, and it was the standard I tried to live up to.

But today, my seven-year-old son refused to clean up his toys. “That’s women’s work, you do it,” he said. I was taken aback. Where did he learn this? Certainly not from me. I had always tried to teach him that everyone in the family should contribute to household chores. But clearly, somewhere along the line, he had picked up this outdated notion.

My patience snapped. I had been trying so hard to be the perfect wife and mother, but it seemed like my efforts were in vain. My husband didn’t help much around the house, and now my son was following in his footsteps. I felt like a failure.

I looked around the house. The living room was a mess, with toys scattered everywhere. The kitchen sink was full of dirty dishes. The laundry basket was overflowing. I had a deadline at work that I was struggling to meet. And now, on top of everything else, I had to deal with my son’s attitude.

I sat down on the couch and put my head in my hands. I felt overwhelmed and defeated. I had always prided myself on being able to handle everything, but now it seemed like everything was falling apart.

I thought about my mother and grandmother. They had always managed to keep everything together. How did they do it? I felt like I was letting them down. I felt like I was letting myself down.

I took a deep breath and tried to calm down. I knew I needed to talk to my son about his attitude, but I didn’t have the energy right now. I decided to leave the mess for now and focus on my work deadline. Maybe once that was out of the way, I could tackle the rest of the house.

But as I sat at my computer, trying to focus on my work, I couldn’t stop thinking about my son’s words. “That’s women’s work.” It echoed in my mind, making it hard to concentrate.

I realized that I needed to make some changes. I couldn’t keep trying to live up to an impossible standard. I needed to find a balance that worked for me and my family. But how?

I didn’t have an answer yet. All I knew was that something had to change. I couldn’t keep going like this. I needed help, but I didn’t know where to start.

As the day went on, I felt more and more overwhelmed. The mess in the house seemed to grow bigger by the minute. My work deadline loomed over me like a dark cloud. And my son’s words continued to haunt me.

By the time my husband came home from work, I was at my breaking point. I told him about what our son had said and how it made me feel. He listened, but he didn’t seem to understand how much it had affected me.

I went to bed that night feeling defeated and alone. I didn’t have a solution yet, but I knew that something had to change. I couldn’t keep trying to be perfect when it was clearly impossible.

The next morning, I woke up feeling just as overwhelmed as the day before. The mess was still there, my work deadline was still looming, and my son’s words were still echoing in my mind.

I didn’t have a happy ending yet. All I had was a realization that something needed to change. And maybe that was a start.