“My Daughter Resents Me for Not Providing Financial Support Like Her In-Laws Do”

I never imagined that my relationship with my daughter, Emily, would become so strained over money. Emily is my only child, and I had her when I was 42 years old after years of trying and countless heartbreaks. My husband and I were overjoyed when she finally arrived, and we did everything we could to give her a good life. But now, at 68 and living on a fixed income from my retirement, I find myself unable to meet her financial expectations.

Emily married a wonderful man named John, whose parents are quite well-off. They own a successful chain of restaurants and are always ready to help Emily and John financially. Whether it’s for a down payment on a house, a new car, or even vacations, John’s parents are there with their checkbook. Meanwhile, I struggle to make ends meet on my modest pension.

A few weeks ago, Emily came over for dinner. As we sat down to eat, she brought up the topic of finances. “Mom,” she said, “John’s parents are always helping us out. They just gave us money for a new car. Why can’t you help us too?”

I was taken aback. “Emily,” I replied, “you know I’m living on a fixed income. I don’t have the kind of money that John’s parents do.”

“But Mom,” she insisted, “it’s not fair. They do so much for us, and you do nothing.”

Her words stung. I had always tried to support Emily in other ways—babysitting her kids, cooking meals for her family, and being there whenever she needed emotional support. But it seemed that none of that mattered to her compared to the financial help she was getting from her in-laws.

“Emily,” I said softly, “I wish I could do more for you financially, but I simply can’t. I’m doing the best I can with what I have.”

She looked at me with disappointment in her eyes. “It’s just hard, Mom. It feels like you’re not even trying.”

After that conversation, things between us became tense. Emily started visiting less frequently and when she did come over, there was an unspoken tension between us. I could see the resentment building in her eyes every time we talked about money.

I tried to explain my situation to her again and again. I told her about the medical bills I had to pay, the rising cost of living, and how my pension barely covered my expenses. But it seemed like no matter what I said, she couldn’t understand why I wasn’t able to help her financially.

One day, Emily called me in tears. She and John were facing some unexpected expenses and needed money urgently. She asked if I could lend them some money.

“Emily,” I said gently, “I don’t have any extra money to lend you. I’m so sorry.”

She hung up the phone without saying another word. That was the last time we spoke.

Now, months have passed without any contact from Emily. I miss her terribly and worry about her constantly. But it seems that our relationship has been irreparably damaged by this issue of money.

I never wanted things to turn out this way. I love my daughter more than anything in the world, but it seems that love isn’t enough when financial expectations come into play. I can only hope that one day she will understand my situation and we can rebuild our relationship.