Need Advice: Struggling to Accept My Fiancé’s Child from His First Marriage

Hey guys,

I hope you’re all doing well. I really need some advice and thought this would be the best place to get some honest opinions. So, here’s the deal: I’m engaged to this wonderful guy named James. He’s everything I could ever ask for in a partner—kind, loving, and supportive. But there’s one thing that’s been really weighing on me, and I don’t know how to handle it.

James has a daughter, Aria, from his first marriage. She’s 7 years old and honestly, she’s a sweet kid. The problem is, I just can’t seem to accept her as part of my life. I know it sounds terrible, but every time she’s around, I feel this weird mix of jealousy and discomfort. It’s like I can’t fully embrace the idea of being a stepmom.

I’ve tried talking to James about it, and he’s been super understanding, but I can tell it’s hurting him. He loves Aria so much, and I don’t want to come between them. But at the same time, I can’t shake off these feelings. It’s making me question whether I’m even ready for this marriage.

Has anyone else been in a similar situation? How did you deal with it? Should I consider talking to a therapist about these feelings? Or maybe there’s something else I can do to help me accept Aria as part of our family? Any advice or personal stories would be really appreciated.

Thanks a ton,

Ella