Need Advice: Should I Forgive My Abusive Grandma?

Hey everyone,

I really need some advice on a tough situation I’m dealing with right now. My mom, Madeline, is asking me to forgive my grandma, Ella, who was really abusive to us when I was growing up. It’s not that I’m holding onto anger or anything, but I feel like there needs to be some kind of justice or acknowledgment of what happened.

To give you a bit more context, my grandma was emotionally and sometimes even physically abusive. It was a really rough time for both me and my mom. Now, Ella is older and needs help, and my mom thinks it’s the right thing to do to forgive and assist her. I get where she’s coming from, but it’s just so hard to move past everything that happened.

I talked to my friend Zachary about it, and he thinks that forgiveness is more about freeing yourself from the past than letting the other person off the hook. Peter, on the other hand, says that some actions are just unforgivable and that it’s okay to set boundaries, even with family. Gerald suggested a middle ground, like helping her out but not necessarily forgiving her right away.

I’m really torn. Part of me wants to be the bigger person and help out, but another part of me feels like doing so would be ignoring all the pain she caused. What would you do in my situation? Have any of you been through something similar? How did you handle it?

Thanks in advance for your advice. I really appreciate it.